Author Archives: Timothy

About Timothy

Timothy W. Tron currently lives near Collettsville, North Carolina, with his wife, Sheryl, and son, Jonathan. He was born in Evansville, Indiana, and spent the next sixteen years in southern Indiana, living in mostly rural areas around the historic small towns of New Harmony and Newburgh. There he established his love for the country, which would eventually lead him back to his roots after graduating college. Along the way, he rediscovered his long-lost joy for writing and soon found God leading him to begin authoring a book, based loosely on the history of his ancestors.

An Insight to Inspiration

Sometimes I wonder from where or what my next source of inspiration might originate. As was the case in one scene in my recent book, “Bruecke to Heaven”, I had the image appear to me in my mind, a vision if you will. Instead of writing about what I saw, I first drew it out in my little black sketchbook journal that I carry almost everywhere I go. I have included it here along with the passage that it inspired.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so may you find these words be an inspiration.

Enjoy…
2012-01-06 02.32.55-1

An Excerpt from Chapter 31 of “Bruecke to Heaven”: “Last Breath”

Marik stood before an ancient tree, twisted and curved from centuries of exposure to extreme elements, fighting for every ounce of survival. Its bark was nearly gone. It was mostly gray-white flesh of wood, cracked and barren, looking more like old bones than wood. It sat atop the small group of boulders on the high pass like a sentinel, watching, waiting.

The clouds washed overhead, gray, with snow blowing lightly. He could not feel the cold; he could not feel the anguish. He stood numb, watching, looking for any sign of life. There were only a couple small branches on an outstretched limb that contained the remnants of leaves—tiny breaths of color in a stark landscape where life seemed void.

He tried to move toward it but was held captive in his place, by what he could not tell. He again forced movement but could do nothing. He could see the cold. His breath exhaled in small puff s of white that quickly flew from his face, chasing the clouds.

Suddenly trace amounts of moisture started to ooze from the tree, at first appearing as dark stains on the bleached bones. Then there were obvious signs of wetness as the cracks became rivulets of tiny streams running down the face of the tree onto the rocks below.

He watched as the tree wept.

The wind now wailed over the ridge, snow blowing sideways. The wailing became a sob as he could hear the voice of his wife screaming for the pain to stop. He was back in the room, close in the darkness, save for the lamp by the bed that shone upon the sweat-drenched body of the young woman. The birth was near, but her small frame could not handle the delivery. Each push sent her one step closer to the end until the wail became two. Then there was but one.

He felt the helplessness of the moment wash over him again.

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Up and Down the Mountain…

2013-02-23 22.16.51It occurred to me this past weekend as I watched my children repeatedly ski down the mountain how much we try to intentionally incorporate the unknown into our lives of normalcy. We purposely pay others to allow us to throw ourselves into chaotic circumstances from whence we knowingly might emerge unharmed; yet possibly not, thus the thrill.

Sitting in the ski lodge watching people come and go, it soon became apparent as the day wore on, that the flushed haggard faces were from people who had taken risks, forced themselves into the momentary windswept thrill of racing headlong down a mountain, all for the sake of fun; nothing more. There was no reason for their plight, nothing gained, only the momentary pleasure that the rush of adrenaline created. Had it been another place and time, the faces could have easily been of those victims of the many global conflicts, who might have barely escaped being captured by enemy combatants in a war torn region of the world. Or, they could have been people who narrowly escaped death from the onrushing Tsunami that engulfed their home, now running for their lives to higher ground. Or, they could have been people fleeing for their lives from wild fires that had engulfed entire communities this past summer in one of the worst wildfire summers in recent history.

2013-02-23 22.02.51But no, these were weekend warriors; folks who were simply out for the fun of that feeling of whisking along with nothing between you and danger other than your ability to remain upright and the skill it takes to maneuver through a myriad of skiers and collective snowboarders scattered down the mountainside.

I know, I’ve been there too.

Yes, I have to confess; last year I tried my hand at skiing for the first time ever. Up until the point the slopes became too icy for safety’s sake, I was actually having fun tempting fate. I was there to escort my children, who were pretty much escorting me by the end of the night; it was their first time too. However, late into the night with the progressively worsening conditions, I decided to take one last shot down the double black diamond called the “Orchard Run” I realized my luck could have easily run out.

The slopes that night had become increasingly icy and with time, had become more and more difficult to stop. In fact, even the easier slopes were becoming so “fast” that you had to snowplow (turning both toes inward in order to stop your progress downhill) all the way down just to maintain a manageable speed. For some reason, my son and I decided, even with the knowledge of the ice, that we would try one of the most difficult runs at the ski resort we were visiting. We had already successfully made it down this run before, but now unbeknownst to us, it was nothing but a pure sheet of ice. Regardless, we were there to tempt fate, and so we took off from the ski lift with the anticipation of one more adventure; one last run.

The initial section was pretty much as it had been before. My son took a slight spill just after leaving the ski lift, which should have been a sign. Still, we continued on. It was not far from there on the first curve heading down the mountain that I realized I was already going too fast. It was one of those times when you think to yourself, “Now what was I thinking?” It quickly became quite obvious, this was a mistake. As all attempts to halt the increasing speed became apparent, I felt my legs doing everything they could to maintain control and not buckle under the increased force that the speed of flight was creating. The moment I became airborne off of one of the little jumps that I had managed to miss the first time, but due to the increased speed, could not this time, I knew the end was near. As my body prepared for impact, I knew that nothing good was going to come of this. I tried to imagine the pain I would encounter as bone, tendon and muscle became ripped apart from the fateful impact that was about to take place. The first thing that hit was my face, as the rest of my body quickly followed. It was a blinding tumultuous crash that ensued as gravity, speed and ice all combined to continue my unmanned flight down the mountainside, at nearly the same speed I had managed to obtain at the peak of my airborne flight. Seconds later, I lay in a motionless pile of snow, ice and anticipation. I hesitantly began feeling for that first impulse of pain that would lead to the trip to the emergency room; nothing came. I felt my face where I took the initial impact, no blood? As I slowly took inventory as I regained my senses, it became apparent, I had been spared.skiing

I slowly got to my feet and regained my footing, repositioned my helmet and goggles, and with as much dignity as I could manage, headed down the remainder of the slope. My ski trip had just officially ended, and I was thankful to be able to walk away, in one piece. I met up with my son at the bottom of the slope shortly afterward. He made it safely down without incident but was concerned for my well being. He was relieved to see me again, as I was him; both of us none the worse for wear.

As I reflect back on that uneventful plight, I realized that the risk I took was not the kind of enjoyment in life I really wanted. There was no gain, no measure of significant advancement that might cause lasting joy or memory other than knowing I had survived something which wasn’t necessary to survive to start with.

I know what it is to have fun, but then again, I know what it is to take foolish chances.

preachingYet, every day somewhere in the world, someone is performing mission work or preaching the Word where it is forbidden, taking chances to go places to serve others all in the name of God our Father. For these risks, one can be justified in knowing that, “He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” – 1 John 4:4 Perhaps, as weekend warriors, we also prepare the path for the day we are called to do greater works, so that we will fear less because of what we have already faced on our own.

I think with age, we come to realize what is more important in life. The fun things become more spiritual in nature, living the thrills to our youth. The old adage, “You’re only as young as you feel,” should have an appendage attached from wisdom that says, “As long as you’ve got feeling left in your body.” No need to risk losing mobility when there is much more life to live.

I believe from now on I’ll take the slow lane; just the ski lift please…nothing more.

.

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Goliath and the Free Radical

goliathToday I had the feeling my life is becoming a “Free Radical”.

The book definition of a “Free Radical” is this: “Free radicals are a byproduct of normal cell function. When cells create energy, they also produce unstable oxygen molecules. These molecules, called free radicals, have a free electron. This electron makes the molecule highly unstable.” About.com Health: Longevity.

It started when I took the family with me on another God inspired mission as part of my book’s ministry. For some reason, I felt led to put my “Feet on the Pavement” and walk into some of the largest churches in our capitol city of Raleigh today.

Since last Friday my brain seems to have been set on fire. Although I had a good recuperation on Saturday, I seemed to have picked up where it left off starting on Sunday. When Monday rolled around, I was ready to make things happen. I couldn’t wait on those phone calls that weren’t being returned, I couldn’t wait on those emails that weren’t being replied too; something had to give. So, we drove into the “Big” city of Raleigh North Carolina.

As we turned the curve to enter the downtown area, the skyline is visible in a distant view, making it look like “A cardboard cut-out” as my son put it. He thought the scene before him looked “fake” but realized it would soon become quite real. The analogy was the same as I went down my list of churches that I had quickly searched before we left home. There, standing before us once we had found our parking spot, were some of the largest churches in North Carolina; some of them a full city blocks in size. Needless to say, I was beginning to doubt my aspirations. My children were simply in awe of the multi-story office buildings. They have never been to a city larger than Raleigh before, so to them, these were their skyscrapers. I had been in large churches before, but not for a purpose or reason I was searching them out today. It seemed I was David and they were the Goliath.

Before we began, I felt the need to regroup, so we headed to the Museum of History where we all took a brief restroom break and I called the offices of the churches on my list, checking to see if it would be okay for me to just drop in. All the secretaries I spoke with were very kind and welcoming; however, after speaking with them it was apparent, there would be nobody I would meet face-to-face today. I would simply be dropping off a copy of my book. I expected this and was obliged. I realize there are many complexities when running a large corporation-size church and to simply take someone’s book who walked in off the street and distribute it to your congregation is far more complicated than a simple review of said book. There are committee approvals, staff reviews and in some cases, institutional reviews required. In some instances, the church might only allow what is sold through its publishing house; thus are the intricacies of corporate Theology.

I’ve talked to people who’ve gone to such institutions and most of them have described how they felt like a “number” at times since there are so many people in attendance. Surprisingly, most of the time they are happy with that; meaning, they don’t feel like they owe anything beyond what they dropped into the collection plate. That spiritual high they felt last Sunday was all part of the show, and that’s it.

For some reason, I’m not wired to accept that. My electron has been pushing the outer edge of its orbit for some time now.

So when I finally found the open door to these monolithic institutions, it was no surprise when we met the secretaries on duty, they said pretty much what I had expected. The people who made the decisions were either not here or would require a multi-level approval before anything would be considered. I was very thankful to each of them. After all, I was thankful just to be allowed to enter into their offices and leave a copy. If I had tried to email, write or mail a hard copy of my book, I wouldn’t have known whose hands or what department it might have landed in, if at all. So as I left each beautiful sanctuary of faith, I felt somewhat successful.

Yet, there was a new feeling of old I hadn’t expected; an ancient memory.

Here I was, a humble fledgling author, led by God to write a book I had never expected to pen, searching out institutions that had been years, even centuries in the making. Their vast resource libraries and highly educated theological staffs were so much greater than what I represented, in my mind, that I felt as small and irrelevant as did my children walking down the street between buildings that reached high into the blue cloudless sky.

My thoughts raced back to the time of my ancestors and suddenly it hit me.

They too would have had the same sense of being so insignificant when compared to the Holy Roman Catholic church; the same church who forbid them to preach the Gospel on their own. However, unlike them, I was not in fear for my life; I was merely looking at possibly only wasting an afternoon, not losing my life. Yet, the similarity of the massive institution, so large that it had to succumb to legalities, formalities and rites of passage required from years of applied perceptions and beliefs that it could not accept one man’s ministry of its own merit, regardless if it met all biblical teachings and beliefs relevant to the institution for which they represented. Time had come full circle and I was now facing the Goliath of my ancestors.

As we drove home after enjoying a wonderful home-cooked meal from the State Farmer’s Market Restaurant, I reflected on the journey we had just taken. I had but for a fleeting moment experienced a similar feeling as those long ago Waldensians. My experience was only a fraction of what they struggled through for multiple generations, each one passing on to the other the Word of God and their burning desire to evangelize to the world around them. Each passing day, I feel the need to do more, more than is expected. I feel the reigns of the institution I currently call home falling away and my release, my “Free Radical” moment becoming a reality.

Where I am going, if anywhere?

I don’t know. I’m going to leave that to the one who sent me to Raleigh today. After all, he was there when David slew the giant. I know he’ll be there when my day comes as well.

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A Vision, A Meteor

meteprIn the fullness of life, we all hope to know of God’s glory. When he speaks we yearn to hear. Today as I watched the silent snow falling in flakes as large as feathers, I couldn’t help to wonder of the heavenly glory that awaits us all. The quiet precipitation from the skies above, like letters from angels, put into our midst so that we may read their messages; if only we would take the time to do so. This past week, a momentary lapse in time afforded me the opportunity to do just that.

Hindsight is always twenty-twenty; once we step through those moments in time that were life-changing events, positive or negative, we can then see more clearly what led up to and were subsequent results of those moments. So it was, this past week on my way to work that I now realize there was something greater than I could know weighing on my heart. What I thought was as a sense of depression was probably more of an eminent doom, which again, I could not know at the time.

I often have time to reflect on my life’s journey on my hour long commute to and from work. I sometimes find myself driving through nightfall or the impending dusk. This seemingly eternal darkness can cause even the mildest thoughts of despair to easily become amplified beyond their true nature. Something inside me kept pushing my thoughts toward the “Why” of it all that night, until I was resolute to justify my existence purely for the sake of my children, nothing more. It was then I began to think of ways in which death might greet me.

Sitting at the stop light at the corner of Old Jenks Rd. and Highway 55, I had the sudden image flash into my mind; one of how death could be so sudden, it might seem preposterous. I was the third car in line at the red light, sitting in the left turn lane. Suddenly from above came a brilliant light, then a roaring flame followed by the sound of an explosion as what had been the first car at the light, a small SUV, immediately disappeared from sight as a cloud of smoke and flame erupted. The car directly behind it caught fire as the blast from the meteor’s impact shook all of our cars, igniting the second car. The driver, a man of Asian descent, jumped from his car running away, screaming in a mixed English-Hindi accent, “My God, my car is on fire, somebody help!” Shrapnel from the blast flew into the second car and then into mine. The mirror from the driver’s side of the second car flew into mine, glancing harmlessly off my window, leaving only a slight chip in the glass. The impact from the blast rocked all of our cars. Few pieces of the first car existed beyond the small crater that it had become from the weight of the meteor’s impact.

Stunned yet aware of the magnitude of the moment, I realized there was nothing I could do. “The people or person in the first car should have been me,” was my first thought. Whomever or whoever they were no longer mattered other than those they had left behind could take solace from the fact a death like theirs could have only been heaven sent. The odds of dying from the impact of a meteor are so small; you could certainly consider it a way for God to call you home.

I knew that the first responders would be on the scene soon. The man in the second car who had escaped with only minor injuries now stood off to the side of the road. I could see him standing there talking on his cell phone, illuminated by the glow from his burning car and the street lights that had not been blown out by the blast force of the impact. My car, although shaken, was none the worse for wear. Realizing there wasn’t much I could do at this point, knowing that this place would soon become a media spectacle and anyone remaining might be tied up for hours reliving the horrible experience, I turned my car and began to drive around the disaster scene.

The traffic on Highway 55 was stopped; some people were standing outside of their cars with their cell phones out taking video of the scene while others talked frantically into their devices, all probably sharing the event with others. I easily drove through the light, which was now green, luckily for me. I watched as I pulled away, the smoldering remains of an SUV, a life that was now gone; gone in the blink of an eye. A life that was just living another day, now gone forever; it could have been me, yet it wasn’t; “God doesn’t miss,” I told myself as I continued to drive away, watching from my rearview mirror.

Blue lights began to fill the sky over the horizon, as my car slowly made its way, putting distance between myself and the scene of the disaster that never happened. Nobody would know that I had been there, and then again, it never happened anyhow, so it didn’t matter.

Somehow, my sense of depression felt better.

Later that evening, I recalled the near-miss vision I had with a co-worker. He sat raptly listening to me tell of the scene, with all the detail of a true event. When I was done, it replied that I had quite the imagination.

We left it at that.

A few hours into Friday morning I overheard someone speaking about Russia. We were still tied up with the job we had started earlier in the night and couldn’t break away. It was a few moments later that the co-worker I had told the story to earlier in the night came up to my desk, somewhat shaken, asking me, “Did you just hear the news from Russia?”

“No, what are you talking about,” I asked, watching my computer screen from the corner of my eye; I was hesitant to take my attention away from my task at hand.

He cleared his throat, trying to capture my full attention, which he did, “There was a meteor that hit Russia just a few minutes ago. Nearly 1,000 people have been injured.” He stood there looking at me, as if he had just seen a ghost, or someone that might have known too much before its time. I sat back in my chair and took a deep breath, “my Lord,” was all I could say.

“You just told me your crazy story, and now this,” he replied, as if repeating it might somehow make it disconnect.

“What are the odds of that,” I asked, somewhat rhetorically?

We both stared in awed silence as our minds tried to grasp the reality of what was.

Even tonight as I write this story, to retell the events of Friday morning, I still cannot help to feel that when God speaks, and if we listen, there are endless possibilities. How we react to them is up to us. Sometimes, if we are fortunate enough, we listen and act.

Friday was mostly a blur of activity after that event. I was already short of sleep before Friday, but after hearing of the news from Russia, my mind was on fire. I would not sleep again until late Friday night. There was so much I had to do, to see and to discuss. It was as if a real meteor had struck in my own life and the spirit of the Lord was on fire within me.

I don’t know what will happen, what will change or what might be altered from all the wonderful things I experienced Friday but one thing I know for sure.

It all started with a vision at a stop light…and I listened.

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The T-120 Thread…

weboflifeI sometimes wonder how many threads of life can be unwoven if we take the time to consider all the possibilities?

Yesterday I had tried to return a phone call to a radio station that I am trying to make connections with in order to start my book ministry for “Bruecke to Heaven”. I had called them earlier in the day and left a message on their recording device. Unfortunately, they tried to call me back after I had already layed down to try to get some sleep for my next night-shift. Once I got up, after not sleeping nearly enough, I tried returning their call. I kept getting a fast busy signal, meaning either their phone was off the hook or there were transmission problems with the phone connection. As I drove toward Goldston, heading for our Thursday JAM classes, after having just attempted to call the station for the fourth time, it was apparent the fast busy was not going away and that I was not going to get through; at least not today. When these road-blocks get in my way, I look at them as God intended; meaning, there is a higher purpose as to why I’m not able to do what I’m attempting to do.

For fun, I began to look at how the fast busy could have been God-created.

Having worked in telecommunications for many years, I know the technical aspects of what it takes to create the fast busy signal we hear on the phone when our call is not able to connect. The particular signal I was hearing was not a “Busy” signal, but rather, it was what we call in the industry a T-120, which means there is a network blockage or tranmission problem. As I thought about this, my mind continued to follow the thread, and how some poor engineer had possibly made a mistake and either entered the wrong information into the network equipment or made some other mistake and inadvertently caused the outage. In the industry, that’s a big deal since lots of revenue can be lost; time is money. In some cases, if the error is great enough, the engineer could lose their job.

In my thread, the error had cost the poor guy his job and he had been dismissed early from work. Disheartened and afraid to go home and tell his family that he was without a job, he headed for the local pub to drown his sorrows. A few hours later, he emerged and began to make another poor judgement and decided to drive himself home. Eventually, after swerving and running off the road since leaving the pub, he crashed headlong into a telephone pole, destroying the transformer that fed half the Tinytown, the little town in which he lived. The power instantly went off in hundreds of homes and the Tinytown elementary school.

Ms. Jones had been diligently working on her dissertation for her Masters degree in education. She had nearly completed the paper and was about to hit the “Save” button when the power went off. Her class had been taking a test while she worked and now there could be heard a collective sigh of relief from the students as the power died, darkening their classroom. Ms. Jone, overcome with frustration, stood up scooting her chair back loudly, startling some of the students who had been nearly in a trance-like state during the test. Some of the students even seemed as if they had nearly fallen asleep in the warm room. It was not uncommon for Ms. Jones to keep her room heated. She was originally from Texas and loved to keep her thermostat near 80 degrees. Today, she had the room furnace cranked up to keep the chilly spring air from freezing her feet. In addition to fighting fatigue, all of her students unknowingly had slight headaches which they believed to be from too much thinking.

“OK class,” she said with a bit of anger in her voice which was not directed at the students as much as it was at her own recent loss of effort, “Lets all put down your pencils and turn over your tests.”

There was a rustle of papers and clicks of the sounds of pencils being placed on the desks at her command. Still standing she looked outside for signs of storms or weather and only saw the brigh sunshine. “Hmmm,” she thought,”Another day of power interruption in Tinytown,” she scoffed. Ms. Jones wasn’t one to dwell upon the negative though and since it appeared the power wasn’t about to come back on anytime soon, she realized an opportunity to enjoy some beautiful spring weather and decided to take her class outside for an early recess. The students were more than overjoyed to hear of their early break and all eagerly lined up and quickly exited, following Ms. Jones out the door.

Little did they know, as they left, there had been a slow gas leak in the room. It was discovered afterward that the sluggishness and dazed feeling the students had experienced during their test time was not from the overwhelmed thought processes of testing but rather, the gas slowing poisoning their bodies. The janitor stopped by Ms. Jones room shortly after they had gone outside to catch up on some housekeeping and unfortunately created a spark when he touched a metal bucket in the closet, having shuffled his feet along the carpet to reach the door inside the classroom. The fireball that followed created an explosion that could be heard clear across Tinytown. The firestation nearby quickly dispatched trucks to the school as the remainder of the schools population, all unharmed, quickly evacuated the school to join their other classmates in a joyful afternoon long recess.

The engineer who experienced the car wreck was airlifted by Life Flight from the scene to the nearby big city hospital The chopper would quickly return to pick up the janitor who was also taken to the same emergency center. Both the engineer and janitor would survive, both with life debilating injuries. The janitor, who was also a deacon at the Tinytown Baptist church, would get to know the engineer while in the emergency room and both would share the same hospital room, each becoming life long friends. The engineer would find salvation through the janitor and his life would turn around when he began to find strength in the Lord and no longer through the bottle. Each man, the janitor and the engineer would come to realize that their lives, previously separate, had become intertwined and that both of them had inadvertently saved the lives of many others who unknowingly had been caught up in the same thread of time.

And so it goes…God weaves the thread of our lives, whether we want to believe or not.

The radio station returned my call today and I was able to answer. God once again has answered my prayers and we take another step forward in the journey.

So the thread continues…

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.
– Romans 8:14

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The Vibes at the Bean

greenbeanAs an author, I’m supposed to keep you posted as to what I am up to in the literary sense. Although I haven’t a story to upload tonight, I felt compelled to speak to you and let you know I haven’t been silent. Two new stories have emerged recently which I am not able to publish here in lieu of their entry into writing contests. I’m not much for contests, but as with all other aspects of being an author, I’m following what I’ve been told “Is a good thing to do.”

So when you finally to get to read, “My Little Buddy” and “The Farmer in the Bull” you will hopefully be doing so from a literary publication. If not, you’ll just see them on another blog of mine down the road.

In the meantime, the sequel to “Bruecke to Heaven” has been languishing until this weekend. For some unknown reason, perhaps its the lunar phase, the story has taken off again. I couldn’t stop pulling the threads in different directions the past two days until I finally weaved them into something I hope will make the reader more intrigued and fascinated than the first story. Suffice it to say, I dare not share any details at this point for fear fo giving away anything. Like a proud father, I’d love to sneak a peek in your direction, but I wouldn’t want to diminish what might be an eventual second publication.

Meanwhile, life goes on.

We had the rare opportunity to get out this past Saturday night and see two live bands at the Green Bean Coffee Shop in Greensboro, NC. We were fortunate to know a member or two from both bands, “The Zinc Kings” and the “South Caroina Broadcasters”. Each band was a rollicking blast of old time traditional music, rocking the place with amazingingly enough, energy to spare for all. The songs they performed might have been created in antiquity but their presentation of them were so fresh and alive, that one couldn’t help feel the beat well up into your soul. The Green Bean blended the rejuvenated antique building with the rejuvanated sounds of today’s youth melding together their past into the future.

I was grateful to be there to witness its forging…and yes, the music and the story goes on.

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What We Least Expect Sometimes is the Greatest Reward…

ToddNC2Most of the time I feel like the least of the writers in our writing group, the Inkspot’s of GUMC, not that I expect to be great from being the least, as Jesus was saying in the scripture of Luke. Rather, I feel like the least qualified to be writing in a room filled with such wonderful authors.

This past week we took turns reading from our recent writings and everyone seemed to be absolutely wonderful, save for mine.

Thomas read from two book reviews he is doing as part of his PhD studies. Both of the books he was required to read, “Pastoral Theology” and “Open Secrets,” he had the good fortune of having the authors as professors while attending Duke Divinity College. I was impressed to hear as he read aloud at the depth of knowledge he had acquired over time both from not only constantly reading and studying the Word of God, but also from his literary skills as a writer. More than once I had to take notes from what I heard. We learned of the pressures of the daily grind of pastoral work which was exemplified by the statement when he labored over being human when he was supposed to appear as he put it, “Cloaked in a mystery of divinity.” We also learned of Wesley’s Quadrilateral philosophy of scripture, tradition, experience and reason. Wesley believed scripture was the most important but as Thomas pointed out, today we are finding people more inclined to use experience as their base instead of scripture. In all, it was very enlightening and educational.
>ToddNC
Next, Sherry Thornburg read from a story she had written about living in Todd, NC. I believe she called it, “The House Across the Creek.” It was quite a heart-warming story, which took you back in time. At first hearing the name of the story I was taken to Cross Creek Florida, but then that is another story.
Sherry told the story of how she grew up in a four room house in Todd next to Elk Creek. As she read her story, I closed my eyes and could see myself growing up alongside her there in Todd. She talked of how they played house, play acted and even performed on the foot log that spanned Elk creek from their home side to the general store side of the creek. The bridge was their stage and the creek was their audience. A large buckeye tree anchored one side of the foot bridge with a log chain, which kept it from washing away when the creek would get up. Sitting there listening to her read her story I was taken back in time growing up in New Harmony, Indiana at my grandma Tron’s house. There, we too played in the yard and around the farm in similar fashion. We never had a beautiful rushing stream flowing by our front porch as did Sherry, but we had lush green pastures rolling by instead, against the backdrop of the hills that made up the vast forest that bordered the Wabash river which ran past our little town of New Harmony.

Although we were worlds apart in distance, we shared the similar experience of a Spartan existence in our rural lives, cherishing the fond memories of a time gone by when life moved at a different pace, one we too often fail to recognize in our hurriedly rushing lives today.

As she closed, the words she spoke from the pages she had written brought forth emotions, the heart strings that make us who we are. The stories within when spoken often become stronger than we had imagined without forming the words through our lips to be spoken. Once their sounds escape and come back to us through our own ears, we sometimes are overwhelmed with the magnification of feelings previously thought insignificant.
farmhouse
After Sherry read it was Laverne’s turn. He never ceases to impress us with stories from his past, all bringing forth similar recollections as did Sherry’s story; taking us all back in time. However, unlike usual, Laverne had written a poem. It wasn’t limerick in nature, rather, more of a prose, but the story it told was so rich with imagery it couldn’t help but touch your heart.

Laverne talked about past loves and a large Sycamore tree under which he had spent many hours as a youth. Being small in size, he often had prayed for God to either make him large or to give him courage. The latter, he found, was eventually how he was blessed. Over time, sitting under his Sycamore tree there in the middle of the pasture, he had carved the names of many a girlfriend while spending hours looking up at the heavens wondering how his life would someday turn out. Recently when recovering from heart surgery, he was lying in the hospital bed and reflecting back on his life and somewhat bothered about how it might all end. He realized he was becoming agitated, so he tried to find a way to calm himself. His Sycamore tree came to mind and the shade of the great labyrinth of limb and leaf began to shelter him once more. In his mind he was once more seeing the great trunk of the tree, the carved names, the beauty of the place he knew so well, comforting him and relaxing him to the point he realized he had nothing to worry about; it was all in God’s hands. I can imagine sitting under Laverne’s tree, which is no longer there, looking out at the fields spreading away from you, reaching to the tree-lined horizon. There is a certain calming affect one can take away from such a place; a refuge, a place to reflect and gather oneself before marching boldly off into the future. Yes, God gave Laverne courage, but it was not the only gift the good Lord had bestowed upon my dear friend; humility of spirit and love of life are some of his greater gifts.

Cindy went next, reading from a story she had written about the birth of her recent grandson. She called her story, “It’s alright I’ve got this”. She shared with us a touching story of a young woman expecting her third child and deciding to have a “water birth”. The eventuality of the story that struck me most was how as parents we sometimes have to let go and allow our children to be themselves, as was the case in this story. Her daughter was evidently determined to have the birth her way, but in the end, it was as God had intended, and yet in a way she was still able to be proud of; a home birth. In the end, mother and daughter came to a deeper understanding and respect for one another, each finding a strength from the other formed by the bond of unconditional love.

After Cindy, then her daughter Savannah shared with us her ideas for an upcoming novel she would like to write. I won’t share those thoughts at this time for sake of her privacy of subject matter, but suffice it to say, we have a wide spectrum of age in our talented group, one which might help us continue long into the future. To hear Savannah talk it was refreshing to hear the youth of our time alive and excited to create stories. We have much to be thankful for.

Finally, after I had read, the leader of our writer’s group, Sims Poindexter, took her turn. She read from emails she had sent out over Christmas. Sims had spent several days in the hospital, some of which was humorous, but sitting there listen to her tell her story, it was obvious to me, we are very blessed to still have her with us after all she had been through. The feeling of thankfulness was soon rewarded with a revealing story she shared in her final email. It was one she wrote after returning home after her hospital stay, and after all the family had left to return to their own homes following their Christmas visit. She told of simply looking around the room and the moving stories behind each little nuance or reminder left behind by those who would have no idea they had left their impression, albeit from a rock left on the piano, to an overturned ornament under the tree. She had seen or could tell the story behind every essence of actuality which had transpired. Her love for all was revealed in her appreciation for them, even down to the touch of inanimate object remaining long after they were gone.

Each story, each prose I heard that evening was so thought provoking, that in a matter of two hours, we got up to leave feeling as if we had just arrived. Personally, I felt left behind after all I had heard. My story seemed to pale in comparison, at least in my own mind. What I was able to take away was a feeling of being blessed to be in the company of people willing to openly share and support one another in something that is, in most instances, from the heart.
Yes, I feel I am the least with regard to my writing when compared to the others, but I feel most grateful in the reward of being blessed by such wonderful acquaintances and friends, such that it makes my appreciation far beyond the least; for this I am greatly blessed.

“and said to them, “Whoever receives this little child in My name receives Me; and whoever receives Me receives Him who sent Me. For he who is least among you all will be great.”
– Luke 9:48

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Ancient Past of Being Foretold…

There are times like now that my soul feels as ancient as there is time.

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I don’t know if it’s a sound in a melody I hear or if it’s a recollection to another place that falls upon my heart, yet I can sense its being. I yearn for that ancient place, to return to its simple existence, its firm timbers of form, with solid bedrock foundations. I don’t know where this place is; yet, when I reach higher terrestrial altitudes on earthly planes, I can feel a connection, as if a place I belong is calling.

To some, this may be more than a mere rambling thought while to others, it’s a sign of early senility. I prefer to think of the former; a clarity of mind that pre-exists all other.

The blaze of the midday sun on the cool autumn days brings about the crispness of eager ambitions, yet to befall upon weakened limbs. I trust these days are mere inclinations of predisposed actions yet to be fulfilled, yet I cannot dissuade their options of mind. I will undoubtedly bring myself to the steps of this endeavor, however great or futile it might be. Fate is only afforded those who attempt to step beyond the limitations of now. This is something that has never prevented my path before, and yet as now, will not stop me now.

Hindrance of thought cannot pull me down like the boat anchor to the soul, for it is merely something that is but of a side note. There was more than enough reasons to go boldly, something that spoke to me from beyond, yet in my mere limited ability to conjure on the process, it will be beyond what I know or can conceive of the future which is why it was done; something yet to be foretold. I must carry on in the hopes that this was more than anything I could have imagined, and yet, was led by a higher power, greater than the singularity of self could know.

The chorus of voices that sing of praise, his name exalted upon high, cannot be faint of heart. Like cascading water droplets on the torrent of waterfall from the precipice of God’s heavenly abode, they fall down to the earth enriching the soul of any who look skyward to their life rewarding embrace, falling upon risen faces, glowing and flowing into the life rewarding embrace they create. Love of God, life and the way toward the light. In these things we search…all of our lives, all of our being, all of our existence upon this we seek.

The drifting soul, gentle breeze of spirit, effortlessly wafting as the butterfly on the wind, carried from one moment to the next. We light upon the cusped of the rose petal, tenderly, ever so gently, and then move along as the light of an angel’s wing glows upon the air. Speaketh not of wanted muses, for today we dance as one with those gone before. Nothing carries us forward or back, nothing lifts us rather we walk on channels of energy that emanate from unseen sources beyond our knowing.

Warmth of enveloping love wrapped around the person, touching caring finger to hushed lip as the voice is quieted to speak not, yet watch as forever longing is removed. No more searching for what cannot be quenched. A spirit of fulfillment overflows so that no more hunger can ache in the stomach, no longer can the fainted breath of longing quicken the heart to reach too soon for the stinging touch of earthly realm. Beyond the pain, beyond the hurt, to no longer feel the reminder of the daily toil. This is where the Godly meets the life forsaken no more; Christ lives within. All is now sated…forevermore.

Recollection of recent dream…

The dream was of a mountain home, where there were two elderly people. I didn’t know who they were or even if they were related, but my visit was one of either research or investigation.

They were intent on showing me all the “old ways”. Everything from how to prepare for the cold mountain winters to how food would be best stored in root cellars. Then there was the mixing of herbal ingredients to be used in a tea elixir or as a snuff of sorts, both intent on curing ailments or providing for better health. I can recall the first being some sort of golden flower, which was cut into some type of tree bark tea. It was bitter but very good for you as a medicinal substitute. The second was a ground snuff, golden flaked in color that gave you a quick pick me up and provided for advanced seeing abilities.

I was so taken with these natural gifts that I went out to my vehicle and obtained two of my books that I signed and gave to these individuals, obviously assuming that they could read. There was a younger one, possibly an offspring of one of the two who was there with us. I also had a host who was there showing me around, introducing me to these people, but the further the dream advanced, the less this person or being became obvious until they were no more.

Toward the end of the dream, a large truck carrying equipment to a nearby bluegrass festival, lost a wheel off of their load. I wasn’t sure if it was from the truck carrying the load or from something on the truck, but it was a large tire, the size of a tractor tire, that came rolling off the back of the vehicle as it flew by the curve above the cabin in which we were sitting. I could see it come off even though we were still inside, and I immediatly warned the others. The wheel came crashing down the mountainside from the roadway, but nobody or anything else was damaged, strangely as it may seem. I could distinctly see the canvas covered load go by, missing the wheel as it sped on, with the driver unknowing to his loss. This was shortly after receiving the golden flaked powder from the two mixing it in the nearby old time store. I guess it worked, for it saved us somehow…of course this was about the time I had to say goodbye, and of course shortly before I woke up.

Unlike other dreams though, this one I knew was coming to an end…I was preparing for it to stop, packing up, and getting ready to go. Strange I know, but it was unlike most dreams which end abruptly either in death, tragedy or arousing surprise.

I really liked this place, its aged timelessness; ancient dwellings where I felt very much at home. This was a trip of preparation, I could feel it.

Was this the place a long for, the ancient place of my feelings, my yearning desires that I cannot place?

Perhaps….time will tell.

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The Light Within…

2013-01-03 21.17.25-1Tonight, as I look out the window of my barn studio, there is no moon, no light from outside, only the inside reflecting back at me. Were there light from the moon or an outside light, I might not have noticed. Here in the country, the only light at night is what we either create ourselves or what the good Lord gives us in the form of moonlight. Since there are no flood lights turned on, on this side of the barn tonight, all I get is what is directed back toward me from within, showing the mural I’ve been working on for Mary’s room. Strangely enough, I can see flying cats and a Pegasus in my window.

Thanks to the trick of the light, I could easily imagine there were floating castles and flying cats just outside my window: again, the light from within shining back at me. Notice the play on words. Light is a major factor in our lives physically and spiritually.

I have come to the awareness these past few days that our lives are filled with our ability to cope with the truth, and yes, the light. The question I have posed to myself is “How much light within is actually reflecting out?” In the Bible truth and light are used frequently when speaking of the word of God and his son, Jesus.

Oh, send out Your light and Your truth! Let them lead me; Let them bring me to Your holy hill And to Your tabernacle. – Psalm 43:3

The truth, like the light, is difficult to look into directly. One tries to stare into the bleak stark whiteness, brilliance beyond comfort until the pain makes us look away lest we harm our vision. Truth, like the light, can also be painful to bear, standing directly in the midst of the utter essence of what is can be so uncomfortable that we want to shy away, whether it be to turn our heads, escape mentally or physically leave the scene.

A blinding flash can cause us momentary blindness and in some cases, searing ocular pain. Similarly, a truth, previously undiscovered or known brought to out immediate attention can literally take our breath away and making us physically ill or sick to our stomachs.

When we are put under the spotlight, so to speak, we often find the intensity of scrutiny placed on us or others so daunting that it almost makes the reason for that garnered the attention to start with questionable. Yet, in the time of Jesus, he did just exactly that, brought the spotlight upon himself. Each time he came under scrutiny, he humbled himself to the point there was nothing for the inquisitor to sink their prying questions into, thus leaving them scratching their heads.

However, unlike Jesus, I personally find it far more difficult to be Christ-like. Yes, I pray for guidance and seek his wisdom daily, but I’m still human, I still make mistakes, and yes, I still sin. How do we expect others to stand in the light and seek the truth when we ourselves find our ability to do so failing? How do we lead others to the truth and the light we hardly have enough for others to even notice?

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of the light. –Ephesians 5:8

Because Jesus gave the ultimate sacrifice, dying for our sins, we can become children of the light. With this possibility, we can strive each day to live in the light, and yes, the truth. When we share the truth, the Word, with others, we are then walking in the light out of the darkness and giving others the chance to do likewise. So you may never reach someone to the point they decide to accept Christ, but you can try. You can’t see in the dark until you first turn on the flashlight. Have you even checked your batteries lately? Is your own light turned on?

I admit it, it’s not easy.

We must walk the walk, stare into the blinding light and lead others toward it. Painful as the truth may be, we must face it, accept it and admit we are of sin and once we take that step of commitment, then, and only then, can we begin to heal and become all we can be.

Will you walk with me today, into the light and out of the darkness?

Take the step if you will, it will only take you closer to the light and the truth.

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One Step at a Time…

Ten miles…it has been over twenty years since I have run a distance in the double digits, but last Friday I finally reached a point I use to consider trivial.

I spent most of the run flashing back in my mind to other runs, long ones that went twenty or more and how they are still a part of me. Some of my favorite runs were those in places far removed from humanity, unlike today when I ran along a country road careful to avoid the occasional vehicle flying by.

One such place was in South Carolina, near Summerville in a forest owned by Weyerhaeuser. I don’t know the total acreage of the vast expanse of land but I know that I could run one way for over an hour without reaching a state or county road. We would travel on logging roads cut by Weyerhaeuser when harvesting their lands. I say we, because back in those days I had a running companion like no other; a Husky-Shepherd mix dog who we called “Milkshake”. We were both built for running in our youth, lean and long-winded. She was a little over a year old and I was in my early twenties.

We would set out on runs and often not know how far we wanted to go for sure, only that we loved to run. We would see all manner of wildlife; deer, turkeys, otters and a large variety of reptiles. Both of us would watch out for the other as we ran on our daily jaunts. I would spot snakes far in the distance, and try to call her back to me when I did, so as to warn her by making it move before she would step too close. One too many times I had seen her dance the dangerous dance with the coiled serpent, only to be saved upon my arrival. Meanwhile, she would be on the lookout for larger animals that she would often chase off into the woods, only to return back by my side priding herself in her endeavor, both of us glad to have the other by their side.

On hot summer days we would stop and refresh ourselves in ponds bordered by lush vegetation but swarming with all sorts of creatures; everything from snakes skimming along the top of the water, otters playing in the shallows or gators sunning themselves on the sandy loam banks lined with palmettos. In this world, we were the visitors and treated our hosts with humility and respect, trying not to alarm anyone lest we cause a stir to the tranquil settings we were blessed to witness. Cooled and invigorated, we would continue on our way thinking nothing of the last few miles that were the most common, the pathway home.

It was out here in this wilderness that I learned a faithful dog would stay close to its master without leash or tether, always returning no matter the circumstance. Oh there were the odd occasion where she might not do so immediately, but if not, it was not of her own accord. Like the time we set out on a run shortly after a huge downpour, finding streams and drainage ditches close to overflowing with rushing water. This particular time I don’t know what caused her to venture to close to the edge of a rushing torrent; perhaps an otter or other aquatic mammal jumping for cover, but alas, she fell into the raging flood, and quickly began to be sucked into the drain pipe that carried the torrent under the road we were about to travel over. At this point I was but just a few steps behind and I instinctively reached down, grabbing a handful of fur and flesh at the nape of her neck and yanked her back up, all fifty some odd pounds, back to safety. She looked up and me and shook the water from her coat and then as if to say, “Thank you” walked up to me and nudged me with her nose, then turned toward the road and began leading the way, back to our journey, back to the road from which we should have never strayed.

Another time, when we had set out later in the day and were only out for a brief run, starting almost at sunset, Milkshake stopped several yards ahead of me and began staring at something in the middle of the road. From the shape I could tell it was not a turtle or armadillo, which was not uncommon, but something more mammalian in size. Upon arriving, I found her staring curiously at a possum that looked to be dead. I had heard all my life about their “playing possum” but never witnessed it in person. Both of us were stumped, and I fearing it was poisoned began to kick it off the road when to both of our surprise, it jumped up, snarled a horrible hiss through a mouthful of teeth and ran off into the underbrush nearby. Needless to say, we never trusted a sleeping possum after that time.

I learned another thing about the dog’s endurance, especially on the weekly long runs where we would go out and run for over two hours at a time. I knew my pace was nearly six minutes per mile or less, so could almost within a quarter-mile judge my distance. It was on runs of over fifteen miles that she would begin to lag behind. Anything over twenty and she would begin to lose sight of me. I didn’t like to lose her, so would often slow enough for her to catch back up. We both learned a lot about ourselves and one another there in that solitude, far removed from mankind, with only the thoughts of what we carried with us and our God-given abilities to carry us there and back. I took great joy in knowing we could run for the countless hours without seeing another human or worry about traffic alongside a roadway. It was the perfect time, but like all perfect times, they too will pass…like the bad, so does the good.

We enjoyed this blissful solitude until the day we met the hunters who leased the land and called it their own. I vividly recall the day the four-wheel drive truck came into few. Oddly enough, I was by myself this day. I had just emerged from a darkly wooded stand of tall timber into a stretch of recently logged land where the sun was shining brightly. They must have been as amazed to see a human out running in “Their” woods as I was to see somebody else. They stopped me as I started to run past their cab, and with the window rolled down, chewing and smoking tobacco in the cab filled with a number of various weapons, they asked me with a foreboding demeanor, “Boy, don’t you know this is a hunting club? You could wind up getting yourself shot out here and the might never find your body.” I tried to do my best to match their drawl and told them I was certainly not aware of this being anyone’s hunting club and would not pass this way again. I ran away from the truck thankful that I had been given a second chance and knew somehow the good Lord was watching over me. Whether or not they were just trying to scare me or if their threat was honest, I never challenged it to find out. Milkshake and I never returned to the forest after that day. I had felt violated but knew that the potential for danger was too great and all it would take is one trigger happy hate-filled bushwhacker to ruin my life, either by shooting my companion or worse, shooting me.

We both quit running in the early nineties, me to start building a farm and her because of cancer. She stayed with us until 1993 but passed on in September of that year. Her body rests in what was her favorite spot, overlooking the pond up on a crest underneath the shade of a tall white oak tree. I go there to visit her now and again and reminisce about my old friend and running mate.

Like life, the many miles we’ve traveled, whether physical, mental or spiritual, they are part of us and make us who we are. Unlike those long ago workouts, today’s was much shorter in distance but just as strenuous. Like the taste of the sweet fruit, with age we must appreciate more often with less.

Let us not forget these virtues as we go forward into the season filled with wondrous blessings…one step at a time.

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