Continued from last month’s story…
We find Stephen, a young man who has suffered his whole life with a chronic illness, seemingly lost in the wilderness. Yet, from the moment the vessel where he found comfort was released from the shore, it was as if Stephen was being released from the bondage that had held him captive. The battle with addictions has all but consumed his life, yet now he faces the greatest challenge of his existence: the battle for his mortal soul. In his journey, he is not alone. A force is leading him, guiding him, even though he doesn’t believe in such things.
Stephen has stumbled upon a remote stone cottage shrouded in early morning darkness. Before he arrives, we meet Sozu and his pet wolf, Aphiemi. Together, they form a curious bond. Yet, when Stephen eventually reaches the doorstep of the mysterious dwelling, he’s greeted not by the mountain man within but rather by someone he never expected – his late grandmother Mildred. Stunned beyond reason, Stephen is rocked to his core – physically, emotionally, and spiritually. In the process, he experiences an epiphany, a dramatic conversion to Christianity. Yet, when he awakens the next day, something is amiss. Has it all been a dream? Was the change real? He has so many questions, but the one he seeks is not who he thinks – there are just so many questions. Will this be the end of his journey or the beginning of something new?
That is for you to discover, seek, and ye shall find…
* * * *
“ The voice of him that crieth in the wilderness, Prepare ye the way of the Lord, make straight in the desert a highway for our God. Every valley shall be exalted, and every mountain and hill shall be made low: and the crooked shall be made straight, and the rough places plain: And the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together: for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it. The voice said, Cry. And he said, What shall I cry? All flesh is grass, and all the goodliness thereof is as the flower of the field: The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: because the spirit of the Lord bloweth upon it: surely the people is grass. The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: but the word of our God shall stand for ever.”
– Isaiah 40: 3-8
The next morning, Stephen awoke to the smell of bacon frying. He smiled as he stretched beneath the covers. The usual pain that accompanied most mornings was gone. He felt fresh, renewed. If he didn’t know better, he’d say he was inside someone else’s body, definitely not the one he had come to know in recent years. Then, he remembered the events of the previous day. “Could it be true?” he asked himself.
He eagerly arose, dressed, and started climbing down below to continue the wonderful dream come true. But as he grasped the top of the ladder to begin his descent, his heart froze. Something was wrong. Once more, he was about to find his preconceived notions of the world before him were about to be challenged in ways he could not know.
Seated at the hearth, before a suspended flat cast-iron griddle full of sizzling bacon over the fire, was what looked like a mountain man, attentively attending to the meal cooking before him. Stephen turned, surveying the area below. The room had changed, and it was no longer the kitchen from his childhood; instead, it was an ancient hunting lodge. Near the fire, a wolf lay on a pallet, raising its head. Stephen, confused, began to withdraw in fear, his presence still undetected by the fierce warrior by the fire. But the wolf began to growl, a hushed warning to the man, who then turned, looking in the direction of the wolf’s gaze. Frightened for his safety, Stephen started withdrawing back to the bed for fear of the beast when the man spoke, “No need to fear Aphiemi, she’s as harmless as a dove,” he said, turning to face Stephen.
The stranger had a weathered face, covered by a long grayish-white beard that matched his full head of hair, which was pulled behind and kept with a leather tie. He wore pants and a shirt of matching buckskins embroidered with curious symbols Stephen didn’t understand.
“Who are you, and where’s my grandma?”
“She had to leave but told me to tell you that she loved being able to see you again and that she’ll see you again someday soon.”
“Where did she go? Did you do something to her?”
“No, of course not; I would never harm her. But where she went, that is a conversation for another time, my friend, but first, let me introduce myself; I am Suzo, your faithful servant of God.”
“Then, I’m assuming you are a friend of my grandmother?”
“Oh, yes, most definitely,” he said with a chuckle, turning back to the griddle and turning over a spatula full of bacon.
“Why should I believe you? You could have killed her and drug her body into the forest. What can you tell me that would make me believe you are her friend?”
Suzo turned, his face now seriously grave, “First of all, I’m a servant of God, and secondly, your grandmother knew you would have questions, so she gave me this.” From amongst the necklace of bearclaws around his neck, he fished out a tiny wooden cross and held it up in his direction. “Here, does this look familiar? You carved this for her when you were just a teenager living with her. It was probably the most loving thing you did for anyone besides yourself in your entire life.”
The stranger’s words cut to the core of his heart, and he knew what he said was true – that it was the only loving thing he had ever done for anyone else. His defensive posture was melted away as Sozu turned back to attend to the meal cooking before him.
“Okay, only she would have known that, and for her to tell you and for her to give you that cross would mean that she knew I would question who you were. So, yes, I’ll believe you for now. But why did she have to leave? And why are you here in her house?”
“Oh, my, you have so many questions,” he said, chuckling, still looking at the pan of frying meat before him. “I tell you what, you come down here so we can get better acquainted, and I’ll fill you in on everything?” At this last, he turned, smiling at Stephen, giving him a wink.
Stephen felt obliged and tentatively made his way down the ladder to the rough-hewn log table. His grandma’s kitchen chairs were replaced with hand-hewn wood chairs made from branches from the nearby forest. The wolf lay her head back down, momentarily suspending Stephen’s fear of his proximity to such a large, threatening wild animal.
After Stephen found a place at the table, he sat, turned to face the man and his wolf companion, and continued, “So, again, why are…”
Before he could finish, Sozu interrupted, “I’m here to serve God by searching for lost sheep, and in so doing, was summonsed to be here for one, such as yourself. Then you, unaware of what was leading you, found your way to this doorstep. Does that ring a bell?”
“Sheep, lost? What is that supposed to mean?”
“Have you not heard of when Jesus told his disciples that it was more important to leave the ninety-nine and to go save the one lost sheep than to remain with the ninety-nine?”
“Uh, maybe,” Stephen said, shrugging his shoulders, knowing full well that he had no idea what the man was saying, “But what does that have to do with me? Did my grandma tell you stuff about me before she left?
“Maybe, and maybe not,” Suzo turned back to the bacon, turning another group of slices over. The pan hissed angrily as the smoke from the griddle was drawn into the flu, along with the smoke from the fire below. The smell was driving Stephen’s stomach mad with hunger.
“So, did she tell you what happened to me yesterday, how I fell apart when I saw her?”
“Well, I wouldn’t say that you fell apart; rather, I’d like to look at it as if you were falling together.”
Suzo turned from the fire and stood facing Stephen. He looked larger now that he stood up, indeed a mountain of a man. “My friend, and I hope you don’t mind me calling you that, but what you experienced yesterday was comparable to what the Apostle Paul experienced on the road to Damascus—a radical conversion, if you will.”
“So, she DID tell you about what happened!”
“Perhaps, but just because it happened yesterday doesn’t mean it isn’t still true today.”
“What?”
“Do you feel like you were in a dream yesterday?”
“Sort of…”
“Well, I can guarantee you that the Holy Spirit’s conviction that you experienced was the real thing.”
“How do you know that, and how will I know that? How will I know that it’s still true today as much as it felt yesterday? How will I know that I didn’t just dream it all,” Stephen began pulling his dirty blonde hair back from his face, trying to make sense of it all. His head began to swim, “This is insane.”
“Salvation isn’t a feeling, Stephen; it’s a change of one’s heart and soul. The former things are passed away, and you become a new person. The things of old, those sinful things in your life that ruled your spirit, will become loathsome, turning your stomach. When you forget and mess up, and yes, that’s going to happen, you will become convicted by the Holy Spirit. Although those things wouldn’t have bothered you in the past, now they will, to the point you will become nauseated having done them, and in the future, you will learn to turn from them. Pleasing God will become the focal point of your life. Slowly, with time, you will become more sanctified, which is a fancy word for becoming more Christ-like.
Yes, sometimes, along with that salvation comes the healing of the body and the spirit. Case in point: When you awoke this morning, wasn’t there something different, …like how you physically felt?”
“Uhhh,…yes, but how did you know that?”
“How I know doesn’t matter. What matters is that because of the inward change, it has already affected your body. Like a light shining within, it has outwardly permeated that darkness from inside you. Most people don’t experience that aspect of their salvation until years later in their walk of faith, if ever. You were blessed in a remarkable way. The cleansing of your spirit has allowed your body to heal immediately. Like the man at the pool of Bethesda, Jesus said to him, ‘Take up your bed and walk,’ and immediately, the man was made whole. At that point, he believed the man before him was the Christ, the Son of God, and that He alone could make him whole. Being whole meant that he wasn’t only physically restored but spiritually as well. In that instance, the man who had been afflicted for thirty-eight years was immediately, inwardly, and outwardly made new.”
Stephen knew in his heart that everything Suzo was saying was true. It all seemed so simple, yet so complicated.
Suzo could see the struggle in Stephen’s eyebrows as he worked through the understanding of all that had transpired in the last few hours. “I tell you what,” Suzo spoke as he carefully removed the bacon from the fire placing it on a plate nearby, “Lets finish breakfast and then go for a walk. We can continue to talk about all this, you can ask any question you want, and maybe by the time were done, you will have less doubts and more confidence.”
Stephen nodded in agreement.
Later that morning, as Suzo and Stephen were walking along a stream that flowed just a few hundred yards from the cabin, Suzo paused. Beside them, the rocks created an eddy, making a pool of still water. “You’ve heard me speak all about the change in you, how you will now have a conviction, how God will not only be your focus but your guiding light, right,” Suzo said as he sat down leaning his walking stick against the rock upon which he sat. Stephen sat next to him, finding the coolness of the rock comforting. The wolf came near, quietly sitting by his side.
“Yes.”
“And you asked about how you know it’s true, and what does it mean, yes?”
“Correct, again.”
“But what if someone could show you what true love, agape love, the love of God was, would it help?”
“Yeah, sure. But what does that have to do with it?”
“Let’s see,” Suzo said, pointing to the water. There, amongst the reflection of white clouds nestled against the backdrop of a cornflower blue sky, a light beneath the surface began to show. Underneath, like thoughts dwelling within the distant portals of his mind, swam a cloud of swirling minnows, a scene began to unfold. Stephen could see his grandmother’s kitchen once again, where he had spent so many memorable moments of his childhood. There, at the bench at the end of the table, his spot, was the little boy. It was the same child he had seen the day before in the cottage. As Stephen watched the story, he watched as, time after time, people came and went in the child’s life, always leaving him behind. He had been essentially abandoned by his parents, leaving his grandparents to raise him. In the vision, Mildred cared for the child as her own, but with an even greater affection knowing that this poor little one had been unwanted, left to fend for himself in a scary, big world. She always tended to his needs, but as he came and went, it became apparent that she was there for more than to address his physical needs; she was there as a beacon of hope, of an unconditional love unlike any he had ever known. As Stephen watched the story play before him, he felt a knot in his stomach grow as he became painfully aware, the little boy was him. It was then that he not only remembered the love of his grandma, but he felt the love wash over him like the combination of a loving quilt, a fresh loaf of bread, or an endearing sunrise – all at once, and yet, even more. It was at that moment that Stephen realized, if only for a moment that he did know the love of God, that it had been there all along, emanating through his grandmother’s love. He had just never realized it.
Tears streamed down his cheeks as he sat watching the mirage, knowing in his heart that he was not alone. There was a father in his life, not the one that had left him abandoned, but one that had been with him all along. It was through the love of his grandmother that God spoke to him.
“Now, do you see, my friend?”
Stephen nodded, unable to speak. As he watched the story of his life play out in the depths of the water before him, he felt a nudge against his leg as Aphiemi leaned against his leg. Instinctively, he patted the top of the great animal’s head.
“You see Stephen, God commended his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from the wrath through him. For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life. This is the true love of God. That he loved us so much, that he would send his only Son to die for our us, so that we may have eternal life.”
“Yes, I get it, I really get it now,” Stephen said now, looking up from the vision in the pool. “But where do I go from here?”
“Ahh, yes, that’s the beauty of it all,” Suzo said, smiling broadly. “From here, seek Him daily in prayer, in study, and in the discernment of where you should go in everything that you do.”
“Can you show me how that all works?”
“Yes, my friend, I was only hoping you would ask.”
From that day forward, Stephen studied under Sozu, becoming more knowledgeable in the Lord, and growing in his faith. Eventually, Stephen would go into the nearby villages with Sozu, seeking the lost, afflicted, and troubled souls of the world. He never again doubted his faith, nor looked back to the desires of the world. He found his new life in Christ and wanted nothing less, forever more.
Thanks be to God.
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When it all comes down to the realization of the evidence to which we have been afforded over possibly a very lengthy portion of our lives, there comes a time to accept or at least to earnestly consider, that a gift, or a multitude of gifts, by which we have been blessed are our purpose through which God expects us to use to His glory. Like the finger upon the keyboard, on single tap, a note fills the air, and suddenly, our thoughts become transformed into a flowing stream of unending scenes of waterfalls, mountain meadows, and all manner of beautification to which we are drawn by the Spirit into an undulating dance of rapturous bliss and joy. Ann Lamott put it best: “Inspiration comes like a train moving through the landscape. You see it approaching while you’re hanging laundry or doing something mundane, and you have to race inside to catch it before the last car—the caboose—disappears.”[1]
