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Fast – day 5

There is the continual ephemeral feeling of expectant joy today interspersed with a tinge of irresistible freedom from the bondage of gravity in fluctuating, ever-so-slight revelations. Gone is the need to search for the next crumb of sustenance. In its void lies the reminder of why we pull back from the table of consumption to remind ourselves that we need to orchestrate, at various times, the opportunity to become more dependent upon God than of our own accord. Along with this self-prescribed extraction comes the increased awareness and perceptibility of knowing that He’s with us – through the physical submissiveness, we are made to stand upon the precipice of the precariousness of survivability.

The invisible nature of God becomes less translucent. His transcendency opines upon our character into the most intimate levels of consciousness, allowing for his breath to fog the glass before us. With trembling forefinger, we etch out the question we seek in that foggy mist that obscures our own image until the track of our written message reveals us once more through the picket fence letters of our message. “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.”[1]

Self-deprived abstinence doesn’t make one’s salvation any more than a man rowing a boat upon the ocean makes him a champion sailor – it merely brings him closer to the shore, as one might become closer to the presence of God in their deprivation.

The confines of our heart are often self-inflicted implications of our human nature. Layer upon layer builds through life’s journey, burying the soul within the ramparts of flesh, both lustily and bodily, becoming entwined into the capital vices of sin. “Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke?”[2]

Breaking free of that yoke, even if for a short time, allows one to see beyond the restricted walls of the everyday encumbrances of life. Allowing one’s head to rise above the din of mortal reprehensiveness pushes our being into a closer relationship with the Almighty. Forgoing the needs of our body, we take one step closer to finding that of the glorified state, if nothing less than a glimpse. As one considers themselves returning from a life-changing adventure, where their ascent to the tops of the world can never be replicated, they too find themselves forever changed. It is here, in this remnant of coexistence with the Father, that we, too, as Moses returning from the mountain, can glow with God’s nearness to our heart.

[1] 1 Corinthians 13:12 KJV Bible

[2] Isaiah 58: 5 KJV Bible

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A Fast Reflection

Another chilly, rainy-laden day. There is a certain feeling of release, a freedom from a burden that has long encompassed my soul – being set free from the weight of depending upon food – perhaps a true feeling or revelation of what our glorified body will become. To be in a world where your senses are still intact and properly functioning, yet to have one of the greatest mortal dependencies of the flesh, that which sustains us and keeps us alive – food – when that is removed, this becomes a feeling of a release from its bondage – the ultimate repentance. As the body absorbs the fat of the opulence of life from your frame, slowly, with great revelation, you are given into the understanding of how one may approach that last day, the one in which you pass from this life to the next. To see something for what it is, not for that which your perception creates, but rather for that thing which its barest essential implores, is to give truth to what is cruciality of need. Jesus spoke of that which a man takes into his body is not that which defiles a man, but rather what comes out of his mouth. Yet, the vessel to which we are given care has a certain amount of dependencies upon what it is fed, so much so that we become a reflection of those choices as to what we put in it. Overindulgence leads to obesity, a sign of a medical condition, or, more often, the addiction to things that are unhealthy – for which both can be an emotional crutch as much as the physical addiction. Sadly, some people live to eat rather than eat to live.

When we are capable of stepping back and taking a look at ourselves, as in the case of this seven-day water-only fast which I’m currently on, we can see and appreciate all the more those things that we take for granted – health, life, and our relationship with God. While these are not all equal, they all become as one when we encompass them within the human form. Looking at our bodies as a vessel, we then can better relate to how God can use us. How we take care of that container is as important as that which we pour into our intellect. So, when we choose to refrain from those indulgences, to stop eating, we quickly become aware of our body’s dependencies, good or bad, on that very thing that consumes so much of our lives – the irony is palpable. However, if one continues in this tract for very long, it soon becomes clear that there are other things that are affected by this change in lifestyle – the sensitivity of those things spiritual.

The enlightenment of awareness is uplifting. Not only does one feel physically lighter, but there is a freedom of the spirit, a release from captivity of one’s soul. In this manner, it soon becomes comprehensible how the words from scripture that speak of the glorified body will come to fruition. It is then, when this understanding lands upon one’s comprehension like a feather falling to the earth, that we can, although its perceptibility may be slight, for a moment, catch a glimpse of that divine realm to which we so aspire.

If my body would allow, I would continue this fast forever, but unfortunately, there is a physical limitation to this season of awareness. A thing that which is mortal must pertain to the natural laws of this world. In so doing, the fast must soon end. Yet, although it will be over, the inspiration will be etched once more into my memory, becoming a well of motivation for future use – for that, I can be grateful.

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